I am learning to live without my best friend…alcohol. I started journaling on Instagram 5 days into my “90 Day Challenge” without alcohol. That was November 8th, 2018. I needed accountability. But most of all I needed to out myself. Expose my darkest secret. I was drinking 1 to 2 bottles of wine a night. By myself.
I had a sick, toxic relationship that was turning me into someone I could not stand.
Today is day 31 without alcohol. I want to have more space to document my experiences, lessons and struggles. So I started this blog to track all of the above.
I should probably give you an idea of where this all started. Actually…that will probably take more time to figure out. What I can tell you is that I am 44. A wife, mother of an 8 year old boy and a former TV news anchor and host. I now run my own business from home.
I got drunk for the first time when I was 14. And I liked it. I drank through high school, college and pretty much every weekend until I got pregnant with my son when I was 36. I didn’t drink during my pregnancy but I started drinking by myself after I had my son.
I didn’t drink it for the taste. I drank if for the effect. I liked that it made me feel more comfortable in crowds. That it gave me “confidence.” I felt guilty about my drinking because as a Christian I knew I wasn’t supposed to get drunk. But I never really thought I had a legit problem until I started drinking by myself. Every single night. However, it took years of that before I really knew it was a major issue.
I hope this blog helps me identify the root of my addiction, my triggers and new coping mechanisms. And I also hope it helps other people who are on their own mission to understand their relationship with alcohol.