This Is Virginia Kerr

How I outed myself to find accountability, freedom and joy. A life without alcohol.

I am learning to live without my best friend…alcohol. I started journaling on Instagram 5 days into my “90 Day Challenge” without alcohol. That was November 8th, 2018. I needed accountability. But most of all I needed to out myself. Expose my darkest secret. I was drinking 1 to 2 bottles of wine a night. By myself.

I had a sick, toxic relationship that was turning me into someone I could not stand.

Today is day 31 without alcohol. I want to have more space to document my experiences, lessons and struggles. So I started this blog to track all of the above.

I should probably give you an idea of where this all started. Actually…that will probably take more time to figure out. What I can tell you is that I am 44. A wife, mother of an 8 year old boy and a former TV news anchor and host. I now run my own business from home.

I got drunk for the first time when I was 14. And I liked it. I drank through high school, college and pretty much every weekend until I got pregnant with my son when I was 36. I didn’t drink during my pregnancy but I started drinking by myself after I had my son.

I didn’t drink it for the taste. I drank if for the effect. I liked that it made me feel more comfortable in crowds. That it gave me “confidence.” I felt guilty about my drinking because as a Christian I knew I wasn’t supposed to get drunk. But I never really thought I had a legit problem until I started drinking by myself. Every single night. However, it took years of that before I really knew it was a major issue.

I hope this blog helps me identify the root of my addiction, my triggers and new coping mechanisms. And I also hope it helps other people who are on their own mission to understand their relationship with alcohol.

3 thoughts on “This is My Story

  1. Mike says:

    Oh my gosh Virginia. So powertful and close to home. I’ve struggled for years and just this week reached my one year sobriety date . It is an amazing journey and I hope you continue to work the AA program. Please feel free to reach out to me for anything to help you thru your triggers etc….
    mike

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, Mike!!!! Congratulations!!! I really appreciate your encouragement. I hope to hear your story one day😊

      Like

  2. Mary says:

    I am 65 years old and I have been searching for the words to explain my addition and after reading your blog it finally hit me. My addiction to to food not alcohol but I think about it constantly. I have the same voice in my head that you wrote about. When I know I’m going to a party or a restaurant or wherever I start overeating days ahead because I know I’m going to go overboard soon so why not just start numbing myself far in advance. I realized through your words that I am an addict. Not much different than what you explain. I go through the same self negativity that you talk about. I spend so much of my life thinking about food , trying to figure out a strategy to avoid a situation, only to “fail” over and over again. I have missed out on a lot throughout my life because I am so dependent on my best friend the food. Most of the time I don’t even taste or enjoy it. I am so appreciative of your blog. It has opened my eyes and given me the courage to tackle this monkey on my back. Thank you!

    Like

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